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The Exclaimers?

Confirmed: Jun. 25, 2015 (Archived)

Label: Independant
Everything. from Vancouver BC

Contact Details

Jayden Beaudoin
xeero99@hotmail.com

The epic tale of "The Exclaimers?" began on a cold Winter's night over a hundred years ago. It was the first snow of the year, in fact, and the grass was only covered in a thin layer that had fallen the night before.


Jayden Beaudoin awoke in the morning to a shiver. He clenched the blankets that wrapped his frigid body closer, in hopes of keeping the heat in. It didn't much matter, though, for he had to be up anyways. Knowing this he jumped to his feet, threw off his trowsers, and donned his coat. Today life would change.


Another Frenchman, Marc Rajotte, was prancing down the road at the time of Jayden's departure. The two bumped heads and promptly unsheathed swords. A fierce battle took place. Crashing and clanking of swords, but neither striking a blow. It went on this way for a good ten minutes before suddenly a new sword emerged.


From the shadows of the trees above a man appeared, a man wearing a suit of black and his face covered in a mask. A mask that cast upon him a shroud of mystery. Who was this new man? It was obviously none other than a real authentic ninja. A REAL AUTHENTIC NINJA! Well, it was not a purebread ninja, since the man was only half Asian.


The man revealed himself as one Ryan Guy. Quite the Anglo-Saxon name for a nijna, don't you think? What's a nijna anyways? I suppose it's like a gnome or dwarf, but I don't know. Who knows. Ryan doesn't.


They realised they were equals in the respective ways or somesuch, and proceeded to reveal their instruments of distruction. The ninja revealed his weapon of death, "THE FLAMING GUITAR". Busting mad licks on the tiny strings, glass of the nearby huts shattered. As he did so, Marc unearthed some shitty Fender Squier Strat and played some power chords overtop. Together they sounded mediocre. What they needed was rhythm, and using his Arcane powers, Jayden summoned one set of drums and began banging on them with some tree branches he ripped from the nearby trees.


The Exclaimers? were born. But they still lacked one instrument of death. That of a high-pitched girl's screaming.


Days, no, weeks. Weeks followed. Or one week. The band found one red-headed man on a day strolling through the forest of poppinberries. The man claimed to be "Kevin", and his weapon of doom happened to be just that what they were searching for over these long week. A high-pitched girl's scream. Or at least it was something decent.


That all happened in the year of Canada's birth, 1867. After being together for over 130 years, they have finally taken the stage and began their TAKEOVER OF DESTRUCTION. Aiding them in their quest have been numerous people or places or things that have been worth mentioning. The kitty who walked across the road only to be smitten by a bulldozer, Destructo (Robot Of Love), who loved to destroy, and of course, who could forget the untimely acts that involved a mythical starfish and grasshopper.


But there were other events that happened along the way, for instance, when they first formed, there was a young hermit who accompanied them by the name of Andrew. Andrew lived in a hut as well, and was originally the creator of the name of "THE EXCLAIMERS? There was also time "Time Of Great Strife" where Kevin was kicked out of the party as he prevented them all from getting any pussy. They obtained a new singer and got action 24/7, but this was shortlived, as this singer was hit by a bus. The group was forced to take back Kevin - No more pussy for them.


So it was, the quadruped party from California had been set back in motion to it's original cast and crew, each posessing majickal powers of the four elements (Earth, Water, Wind, and Fire - But it is unknown just who posesses these powers, except that Kevin must obviously be fire). But since their creation, they have moved up to Vancouver from California (This was back in 1906) to reside there for eternity, or so they would have you believe. Their most famous song to date remains as "O Canada", which also became the Nation's anthem on July 1,1980.


During their extended career, they have actively protested the people protesting the killing of whales.

As of September, 2005 they recruited a new member, which was their first new member in over 100 years.

No audio samples have been linked to this profile.

Last Lineup

NameRoleDates
Jayden Tuna Can BeaudoinDrums / Be French2005-The End
Marc Max Out RajotteGuitar / Be Awesome2005-The End
Ryan Wonton GuyGuitar / Be Ninjaing2005-The End
Jeremy Muscleshirt NelsonVocals / Muscleshirt Wearing2009-The End
Jamie The Bassist JaquesBass / Bass2009-The End

Past Members

NameRoleDates
Justin Fan Boy PotusekBass / Be Quiet2005
Kevin Karrot KnoxVocals / Have ADD2005-2008
Andrew AtkinsonGuitar2005
Status: Broken Up
Want shows. Any shows. - Last confirmed Jun. 25, 2015

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