PartyArmy

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About

PartyArmy

On the site as of October 23/04:

The partyarmy website has been shut down until further notice.
Hallowe'en Hell Party has been cancelled.

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STRATEGIC OBJECTIVES

The Party Army is an elite unit of soldiers highly trained to covertly infiltrate and participate in house party battles. We are professional soldiers defending fun for the citizens of Vancouver, not to be confused with amateur frat-house hooligans. On occasion, select art opening parties and other social functions may justify the use of the Army's special skills and training.

BATTLE SCORES

Battle scores from 0 to 5.0 are determined using the following hype criteria:

Ambience / Space
Food/Booze Quotient
Quality of Conversation
Hype Crowd
Hotness of People Factor
Themes (and percentage of participation)
Critical Mass
Music/Dance Floor
Duration
Debauchery
Police Presence
Make Out Action

A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE PARTY ARMY

Party Army 1st Brigade: Mid 1990s

Starving UBC grad students ingeniously discover the benefits of infiltrating multiple art openings in one night, gathering much needed rations of free food and booze. But first, they swing by the graduate chem lab for some very special supplies for the evening. Soldiers often have to stop to jump start their aging attack vehicle, a 1969 Plymouth Valiant with large gaps in the floorboard.

Party Army 2nd Brigade: Late 1990s

Astute soldiers track and follow artists from public parties to highly coveted house party battles. Soldiers partake in hardcore training, involving copious amounts of booze, drum 'n' bass and other substances, leaving some soldiers to take medical leave.

Party Army 3rd Brigade: Early 21st Century

Then-cadet Sarah X Sketch, already a military prodigy in the party scene, rises above her fallen comrades to launch the 3rd brigade. She modernizes the army by implementing sophisticated technological communication via use of hypertext transmission and cellular voice transference to build an extensive network that is used in the Party Army's battle plans today.

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